


Appreciation For You

by ThatGirlThatNoOneReallyKnows



Category: Sean McLoughlin/Mark Fischbach - Fandom, Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Fluff, M/M, Nightmare, Swearing, aftermath of You're Never Alone, omg, thank you guys so much, you guys are amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 16:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6862537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGirlThatNoOneReallyKnows/pseuds/ThatGirlThatNoOneReallyKnows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I just want to say how thankful I am of you guys. ^^</p><p>Also, if you want to know what happened after "You're Never Alone", well... here you go. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Appreciation For You

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin with da feelz, I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to Roosterbytes, for writing their story, based off of "You're Never Alone". It's called, "I thought I'd lost you - A message to those with Depression". Please go read it. :)

~

I'M ALIVE!!

Or, you know, just back from school camp.

BUT STILL. xD

First off, I seriously didn't realize how much I depend on Jack and Mark's videos until halfway through the first day. Just... wow. Those guys inspire and help me so much. One of the first things I did when I got home was go right to Jack's channel and watch one of his videos, and I was just smiling and tearing up.

Second, you guys are freaking amazing. <3

When I came back from the camp that was hosting our grade, after settling in at home a little bit (and, truthfully, preparing myself for the worst), and checking YouTube and some people on Deviantart, I finally went onto AO3. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. But the supportive and nice comments that I got on "You're Never Alone" from you guys were just amazing. I teared up when I started looking at them, and was crying halfway through reading them. They really made my day. Because they just... mean so much, you know? :')

And... to know that my words helped someone... It just... it got to me. I love you guys so much, hehe... ^_^

Because I feel ignored a lot of the time, I never really think that my words mean much, but it means so much to me to hear what you guys have to say... and have it be so kind. Like, much more praise and stuff than I deserve. XD

But those words needed to get out there, because I believe that no one deserves to feel alone, no one deserves to feel depressed, and my god, no one deserves to feel like they should hurt themselves or die, and they (or _you_ ) should know that.

Third, I'm actually thinking of writing more. Like, short little stories of what happened after the fluffy ending of "You're Never Alone", Septiplier one-shots, a couple other Septiplier stories, and a multi-YouTuber story I'm attempting to write. I have a _ton_ of ideas written down already, which have been there for a very long time...  
I'm getting there, haha. :3

But back to the main point... You seriously don't know how thankful I am of the support I've been receiving. I wouldn't be writing this right now without you guys... because what would be the point? I wouldn't be making any more content or be writing an appreciation note if no one had cared. But you _did_ care.

Thank you so much. I can't thank you enough... Just... thank you.

And I'm going to force myself to stop rambling now. But since I feel it would be rude to leave you guys with just that... I wrote a bit of the aftermath of "You're Never Alone". (Spoiler alert! If you haven't read it... well, go read it, ye silly!) 

Enjoy! :)

(Also, in this story, "~" indicates change of scene and "-" indicates change of point of view, if you're wondering.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Retelling his story had been hard.

Jack called his immediate family and closest friends, one or two at a time. It had taken hours of explaining why he hadn't contacted any of them for the past few days and ignored all of their texts and calls, confessing to them at least a little bit about the depression that had overshadowed him for so long (and was still there), calming them down if they'd panicked (which, fortunately, hadn't happened that much), and promising that he would visit them soon and tell them everything to finally be done with it. 

Probably the hardest but most rewarding part had been telling the fans.

The amount of support he'd gotten from his new video, "You're Not Alone", was overwhelming. Thousands of comments had been posted, telling him that his fans were there for him, that they would stand by him and help him through whatever demons he had, that they wouldn't ever abandon or forget him, and, the most popular, that they would never let him go (which Jack hadn't gotten at first until Mark had looked over his shoulder and burst out laughing). 

But through the whole stressful and emotionally draining day, Mark had been there with him.

After the kiss, Mark and Jack had sat in blissful silence. They had lied on the couch, enjoying each other's warmth in a carefree embrace that had lasted over an hour. 

After lunch, they had a serious discussion. They both didn't feel the need to address the oh so obvious question of what their relationship meant now, and instead, the main focus of the conversation had been Mark convincing Jack that, even though it was entirely his choice and his alone, he should contact his loved ones and tell them about the depression he'd been going through. And Jack had.

And now here he was, lying in possibly the most comfortable bed he'd ever been in, breathing slowly and feeling himself drift into a sleepless state, comforted by Mark's presence.

They hadn't needed to ask any questions about it. Jack had just wordlessly sat down next to Mark, hesitant and slightly worried that Mark would reject him for taking this a step too far. But the slightly older man just met his eyes in the darkness and smiled in relief, then rolled over and pushed away some of the covers for Jack. 

The Irishman had curled up into the warmth of the blankets, sighing as he sank into the mattress. The dreamlike place that he was in now felt like better sleep than he'd gotten for the last week. 

After a few minutes, Jack's exhaustion finally caught up with him, and his consciousness darkened as he fell into sleep. 

~

He was standing on the edge of a cliff, unable to step away from it. Below him, black waves white with foam smashed into jagged rocks. A cold, thick fog hung around him, white and eerie. For a while, the only sound besides the ocean and the wind was his own heavy breathing. Until he heard the noise of shuffling footsteps.

A figure came towards him from the mist, dark and slow-moving.

Who was it this time?  
His mother?  
His father?  
One of his siblings?  
One of his friends?  
One of his old roommates?  
Signe?

But as the black silhouette became recognizable, it was revealed as the last person he'd expected to see. As their face came into view, Jack saw dull eyes the color of a dead cornflower, as if they'd once been full of life and color, stare into his. Their mouth was pulled down into an empty frown, brown hair disheveled and messy. Their clothes were black and torn and showed their gashed and bloody skin.

"W-what?" Jack whispered, his eyes widening. Though he wasn't aware he was in a dream (he never was), he somehow always knew the reason why the person, whomever they might be, was there.  
It was always the same reason.

"W-wait... Wait!" he said, holding up his hands. He was reminded that he couldn't walk away when his legs wouldn't move. The figure came closer, their movements stiff, as Jack was stuck in one place, immobile. He cried out for help, but no one heard him, and no one came to help him.

When they were only a few feet from him, Jack looked down quickly at the ground, finding he could no longer look at the disfigured, wounded, undead-like figure in front of him. When a freezing touch gripped his shoulders, he flinched, bracing himself for the paralyzing panic he knew would come.

But yet again, something unexpected happened. A voice rang in his ears, monotone and emotionless, yet so familiar.

**Why are ye still alive?**

He flinched again, feeling tears prick his eyes as he wondered the same thing.

**No one wants ye. No one needs ye. No one loves ye. Ye have no reason ta live on this planet. And yet... here ye are. Very much alive...**

The grip on his shoulders tightened, freezing him to the bones, causing him to bite his lip in pain. This time, he could almost swear the voice was mocking him, even though it hadn't changed.

**Ye should be dead, little Sean...**

And then the voice transformed completely, going from toneless to venomous and angry.

**Allow me ta amend that.**

Every nerve in his body screamed in terror as he was shoved back and, for a second, weightless in the air. And then he was dropping down, fast. It seemed an eternity that he was falling, but where the dream would normally end, with him just about to hit the water, he plunged into the frigid waves, the surface smacking into him like concrete and enveloping him in an airless, numbing-cold embrace.

When he tried desperately to come back up, his fingers found a solid surface, and he found himself trapped under a thick layer of ice. 

The horrific realization that he was going to die set his heartbeat thundering in his chest, because now he didn't _want_ to die. His breathless lungs were already burning for air. But no matter how much he pounded and kicked the ice, it wouldn't crack.

His last moments were the sight of the lifeless blue eyes of his own face staring into his from the other side of the ice as he slowly drowned.

~

Jack jolted awake and twisted, gasping raggedly. There was something around him, constricting his limbs and making it impossible to move. It seemed the more he struggled, the more tangled he became.

"G-get off'a me! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted, lashing out and managing to sit up.

"Jack!" a voice said loudly, trying to get his attention.

When Jack heard that voice, he suddenly lost the strength to move and weakened, heaving breaths in and out of his lungs. His eyes were tightly shut, and as he curled up he held his head in his hands, just now feeling the tears streaming down his face. "Fook, fook, _fook_..."

"Jack... Hey..." the voice murmured, much gentler this time. A touch on his shoulder caused him to flinch, but he eased a little when he realized how warm and gentle it was in comparison to the cold roughness of the one in the dream. The owner of the hand moved closer, freeing him from his captivity, which was only the blankets he'd tangled himself in. "Mark...?" he whispered, tears still leaking from his closed eyes. 

"Look at me, Jack."

Jack was afraid that, when he looked up, he'd see dull blue irises, but the ones that met his were a warm, soft cocoa brown, eyebrows furrowed with concern. 

"You're crying..." Mark whispered in a voice full of sympathy and sad realization. He wiped away Jack's tears and gave him a reassuring smile that had the crying man's eyes welling up again.

"Hey... No, no, don't cry... It's alright..." the half-Korean soothed the Irishman, pulling him into a gentle hug. Jack sighed shakily, curling up into Mark's arms. Besides the occasional quiet car driving by outside and his own pulse pounding in his ears, the noise of Mark's heartbeat and both of them breathing were the only sounds Jack could hear, and the only sounds he wanted to hear. When he regained a little more of himself, he realized fully that his nightmare must have woken Mark up, and he bit his lip with guilt.

"M'sorry..." he mumbled, still slightly trembling. The man holding him slid a hand down to his back and rubbed it gently, using the other hand to smooth back his green hair so he could place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Don't be sorry. Everyone has nightmares..." Mark reassured him, and Jack nodded in acknowledgement, if just to hear Mark softly speak to him again.

"Do you want to tell me what it was about?" he asked, tilting his head so he could see Jack's face just a little better. Jack answered with a simple shake of his head, biting his lip as he saw once again his own face looking at him from the other side of the ice.

"Alright... I'm here for you, though, okay? I'm not leaving."

Another nod.

Jack barely noticed when Mark kissed his temple and pulled them down on their sides into a comfortable sleeping position, because at that point he was already half-asleep. However, he definitely noticed the loss of heat and tried to inch closer to Mark's aura of safety and warmth.

He gasped softly as the red-and-black-haired man tugged him closer and snuggled him, a flush darkening his face as he wondered how he just now realized that Mark was shirtless.

"Is this okay?" Mark questioned concernedly, noticing Jack's tenseness.

"Yeah... Yeah, f'course..." Jack whispered. He willed himself to relax and focused on breathing in Mark's scent, which couldn't really be described as anything other than homey and warm and just _Mark_. His fingers pressed into the bare skin of the very muscled man's upper back and he shifted comfortably against his sturdy figure. The blissful, safe feeling that followed this comfort had his consciousness flickering. 

Jack drifted tiredly. Just when he was about to slip off into sleep, he jumped awake, a flash of a half-asleep dream rushing through his head, a fleeting feeling of falling sending butterflies swarming in his stomach. He let out a frustrated, discouraged breath, just wanting to fall asleep and not be waken up by figments of his wandering imagination.

Mark calmly and gently rubbed a thumb across Jack's cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I just... I can't sleep... I had a dream that I... f-fell, or something..."

Mark shifted and slipped his arms further around Jack's waist than they had been before, which sent goosebumps up his side.

-

"If it'll help you sleep... I can sing for you..." Mark suggested hesitantly, shrugging because, as an afterthought, he thought it sounded ridiculous. Jack, however, nodded, listening intently. He looked up and met Mark's eyes questioningly when the unprepared man didn't start, surprised that Jack actually wanted that. Mark's heart skipped a beat when that blue gaze looked into his. It took him a moment to remember the lyrics to the certain song he was thinking of, but then he cleared his throat, inhaled, and started singing softly.

"Love of mine, someday you will---"  
_Oh, shit._  
"---cry, but I'll be close behind... I'll follow you, into the dark."  
(Good save, Mark.)

A gentle smile brightened Jack's face, signaling to Mark that he knew this song and was thankful for the change of lyrics. Mark returned his smile before continuing.

-

"No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight... Waiting for, the hint of a spark."

The half-German reached behind his back as he was singing, linking his fingers with Jack's and bringing his hand forward so their interlocked hands rested on Mark's chest. Jack could feel Mark's heartbeat and the vibrations in his chest as he sang.

"If Heaven and Hell decide, that they both are satisfied... Illuminate the no's, on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks... then I'll follow you into the dark."

Jack closed his eyes, a small smile still resting on his face. He listened to Mark's voice contentedly, squeezing his hand every now and then as the American continued to sing. Jack fell further and further under his spell, his sleepless state of mind washing away. He hadn't even noticed Mark coming up to the end of the song until he was singing the last few lines.

"If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks... then I'll follow you into the dark..."

Jack exhaled gently, not wanting this moment to end. He tightened his hold on Mark's hand again, just for a second, unaware that he was about to fall asleep.

"I'll follow you into the dark..."

"Night, Jack..." Mark murmured, kissing him softly before he slipped into nothingness.

~

It struck him, not knowing how it was possible to love someone this much.

Mark stared at the passive face of the curled up man in his arms, exploring everything with his sight. His cute nose, soft lips that could pull into the best smile, green hair now fluffy and attractively messed up, the short, dark stubble lining his jaw, chin, and above his top lip, and his heartachingly blue eyes which were, fortunately, closed in sleep. His body was lean and skinny under the loose t-shirt and sweatpants he was wearing, and he seemed to lock perfectly with Mark. His laughs and giggles were so adorable that Mark could never not laugh or smile along. That Irish accent that he always made fun of, he secretly adored. Jack couldn't be described as anything other than _beautiful_.

Mark's heart ached when the Irishman was sad, he smiled when he was happy, felt that helpless pang of jealously whenever anyone, other than a fan, would hug him. 

How was he so imperfectly perfect...? He thought he'd known what loving someone was, and maybe he had, but never what being _in_ love felt like. It was wonderful yet terrifying at the same time, especially because he didn't know what this meant for the channels, their families, or even themselves.

Mark had an unexplainable vision of Jack's face, pale and bare and lifeless, and of a stone grave with his full name carved into it, blurred by tears. Instinctively, he tightened his hold on the slightly younger man, nuzzling his hair.

"I promise I'll protect you. From anyone, from anything, from yourself... No one's going to hurt you, Sean..." Mark said softly but firmly, meaning every word.

"I'll protect you."

~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again, guys. :)
> 
> (By the way, who else has those "half-asleep dreams"? For me, they're always me falling down the stairs. Always stone steps, and I'm always wearing white sneakers, of which I don't own and have never owned, unless I've forgotten...  
> Childhood memory? I don't know... possibly...
> 
> Edit: So yeah, earlier today I was looking at pictures of me when I was about six or seven, and guess what I was wearing in those pictures?  
> Yep, white sneakers.)
> 
> Song used: "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie
> 
> "'Cause you're a sky,  
> you're a sky,  
> full of stars...  
> I'm gonna give you my heart.  
> 'Cause you're a sky,  
> you're a sky,  
> full of stars...  
> 'Cause you light up the path...
> 
> 'Cause in a sky,  
> in a sky,  
> full of stars...  
> I think I see you..."  
> ~"A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay


End file.
